Wednesday, 17 February 2016

RMD Speaks In An Exclusive Interview- “My Wife Is The Backbone Of My Being, I Cannot Function Without Her”


Richard Mofe Damijo. In his early days of acting, he was fondly called Nigeria’s Denzel Washington. After leaving the industry to serve in government, RMD strode back in just as if he never left; demonstrating his enduring connection with his legion of fans. This is why he is our ultimate man crush.
He speaks on love, family and the one thing he would never accept from his fans.
My wife is the backbone of my being, I cannot function without her  – RMD
Love is…
Love is everything the Bible says it is. Love is God and it is from there that everything else is derived. It is kind, it is faithful, and it is committed, consistent, giving and loving. Love is God.

For him, Valentines Day is absolutely necessary
I celebrate Valentines Day because it is a chance to externalise what you feel for somebody and for me it is not just about your spouse but an opportunity to show love to your kids and community.

There was a Valentines Day that brought him to tears
I pride myself as the romantic one but this particular Valentines Day my wife upped the game. I got to the office that morning and there were petals everywhere and all kinds of presents. I was moved to tears. Every valentine is special but this one was unforgettable.

He thinks relationships in this era have gotten so expensive
How do you fall in love in a place like Lagos without considering the distance between your place and your girlfriend’s place? Values have changed and people now live in very cosmopolitan areas where even commuting is a problem. The dynamics have changed and money they say makes the world go round. You can’t even find flowers to pluck for free for your loved one. When we were younger we could pick hibiscus flowers everywhere.  How do you show love without money when a stem of rose can cost as much as $50?

And big weddings are an unnecessary expense
You don’t have to have a big wedding. If you don’t come from a large family where it is a tradition to have a big wedding, you can always have a small wedding. For my first marriage there were just about 4 people; two witnesses and us. For the second marriage there were just about 6 of us. The traditional wedding was a little larger because of family traditions.

He would certainly marry a woman who is more successful
I think that when you go into relationship money shouldn’t be the major consideration but if you work and your spouse works it helps the family. I don’t think a woman should stop working. I believe a woman who is equally comfortable reduces the pressure. But I can marry a woman who is more successful if I love her. Success cannot be measured only by money.

Non-commitment is an alien concept to him
I do not live in or understand a world where men don’t commit. I am the committing type.  Maybe they do not commit because everything is fast these days; everyone lives in the fast lane, eats fast food and drives fast cars.

His definition of a take-home-to-mama would be-
A woman who loves me madly. Someone who values the things I value, is family oriented, has proper conduct and was brought up in the way that Nigerians of old were brought up. She should be a home keeper. I don’t think the inculcation of western values should stop a woman from being a homemaker. I am willing to help but that is no excuse to reinvent roles in the family. 

His wife is his pillar
The reason I am standing here today is because I have a wife who believes in what I do and who supports me in everything. She holds my hands through it all. It is not easy for any woman to watch her husband kissing or making love to another woman on television but she has been incredibly understanding. She is the backbone of my being. I can’t function without her. I was away from Lagos for 8 years when I was in government and she held the family down, that’s how much of a support she has been. She is everything.

He is a hands-on daddy
When my wife was pregnant with our two kids I cooked her favourite meals. Even when she was to have the baby in America, I bought food items here and took them to America and cooked for her. I cooked the Ofada stew that was served at my son’s naming ceremony. I also changed my children’s diapers. It doesn’t change the fact that I am the head of the family. When my wife knew I could cook, she learnt how to cook as well in order to compete with me in the kitchen. It is nice to understand that roles can switch but a woman should know her role.  I know when my wife is overwhelmed by house chores. If I can afford the time to help, I will. There is a common saying amongst my people; whatever you cant use your money to do; you use your body to do it. Every modern man should be involved in the raising of his children.
Keeping his marriage interesting means
Going on holidays, a sense of humour, improvising and making sure that we do everything together. We spend as much time as we can together. We can be very introverted so we watch a lot of films together and we are very sufficient company unto ourselves, although some people might find that boring. I also go to the shows she organizes as much as possible.

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